Let's Call Him "J"

J, my first serious attempt at dating after my divorce.

Oh, let's be real. The first guy that didn't hear the words "divorce" and "kids" and run for the hills. J was divorced himself, and had a couple of kids, so it seemed like a match.

He certainly seemed to have everything. Good looks, smart, funny, caring, and amazing in bed. He could have been husband #2, easily. Within a few short months of dating, I was certainly falling for him.

And then...

He disappeared. The same old lines about life being too hectic right now, not wanting to move too fast, hope we can still be friends. Underneath his words, though, there was something else. It felt like he was looking over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching. I was certain he was seeing someone else.

So what's a freshly divorced, shell-shocked woman to do? I followed him.

It wasn't pretty. I took the long way home to drive past his job and see if he was there. I called at random times to ask "important" questions. Like "Do you remember the name of that place we ate at on our third date? I want to take a friend there. Oh, Pizza Hut. Well, thanks." I even started getting gas at the station near his house in hopes of bumping into him.

It wasn't pretty.

I never did find any dirt, but I did learn something about myself. One: I would make a crappy private investigator. And two: I really wasn't ready to start dating again. Lesson learned.

I'm sure we all make mistakes that first jump back into the dating game. Sure, we all don't go psychotic stalker, but I've always been an over-acheiver.

photo credit: Liz Grace